Marriage Advice from Sadie's Parents
There's no doubt about it- love is in the air. So, we spoke to Ira (Sadie's father) and Magda (Sadie's mother) who have been married for over 27 years (!!!) about being in love, falling in love and how to pick the right partner.
Get ready for some #RelationshipGoals
How did you meet?
IRA: We were both immigration lawyers and met at immigration meetings.
MAGDA: I don't remember meeting him. He says by then-boss introduced us, and that I was pregnant (marriage #1 at the time). Whether pregnant with daughter, #2, or #3, I can't tell you. (Sadie is #4.)
Fun facts: The above pics are from Ira & Magda's honeymoon.
And these pics are a more recent rendition. (we can all agree some shirts never go out of style.)
What is the best part of being married?
IRA: We love each other’s company, laugh a lot, still have a great sex life, share important values about life and politics, and find being with each other intellectually stimulating.
MAGDA: For me, though I hate to admit it (it sounds so anti-feminist!) it's the security. It's NOT that I would want for him to stay with me because he's married to me, but something about taking the plunge signals to the partner (and the world) that this is serious, this person IS the one.
What makes you fall in love with each other over and over again?
IRA: We love to be in each other’s company. My wife is always unpredictable, a little crazy, and lots of fun to be with. Some drama is always going on.
MAGDA: What makes me fall in love over and over again is recognizing how lucky we are that after all these years, we are still in love; that (for the most part) we do like being with each other, look forward to it, share things, have a lot in common, can have intelligent conversations, laugh, have fun.
I love that he's such a good sport; he'll get up and dance even though he's the worst dancer on the dance floor (if not the worst, the 2nd-worst).
I love that he can make fun of himself; refers to himself as "tall, dark, and handsome"; would send me flowers with card with ultra-cheesy message: "I can't make it without you." Signed: "Warren Beatty" (Warren Beatty THEN, not Warren Beatty NOW.)
I love his self-esteem. His mother, he likes to say, always taught him when he looks in the mirror, "to see a guy with a full head of hair"--and he does.
If someone is single and ready to mingle, what do you suggest they do to find The One?
IRA: I do not believe there is any place or any particular way to find the person you will love for the rest of your life. I think you need to leave yourself open to meeting people and be relaxed about your interactions with others. Do not put pressure on yourself; do not be afraid of being alone; and do not try to alter your personality to pretend to be someone you are not.
MAGDA: Just hang out and keep that you're "ready" to yourself. In my opinion, it scares off the other person. But hey! I know a lot of married couples who met via Internet.
Can you meet a significant other at the club?
IRA: I think you can meet your significant other anywhere—a park, a museum, a club, 305 fitness.
MAGDA: You can--anything is possible-- but it never worked for me.
How do you know if someone is"right"?
IRA: I am not sure you ever know if someone is the “right” person. You just take life day by day and if the person is someone you enjoy being with it will build into a stronger relationship.
MAGDA: You feel like you've been hit by a 2x4- like a cartoon character, seeing stars, your head spinning. Because (at the beginning, only at the beginning) you think s/he's perfect. Because you like his voice and soft-spokenness and the way he smells.
What's the best way to celebrate an anniversary?
IRA: Take a walk. Go to the movies. We both love the movies.
MAGDA: From our 1st anniversary, we have spent the entire day together, played hooky from work, went to movies in the middle of the day-planned nothing- just did what we wanted, when we wanted.
What advice would you give to either people who are looking for a relationship or just starting one?
IRA: I would not put yourself or the other person under any pressure to do something or act a certain way. All relationships have their ups and downs and you need to take it day by day. Do not be afraid to be alone. My mother always said “every pot has a cover,” and I guess she meant that there is someone out there for everyone. Life is too short and too important to obsess over whether you have a partner or not. Enjoy your friends, your family and what you are doing. Through all those encounters you are likely to find a person you want to spend time with. I did not get married until I was almost 40, but I was not ready to marry before 40. Enjoy your life and you will find someone who wants to come along for the ride.
MAGDA: Be patient; don't move too fast- "Stop, look, listen." We went out 8 years before we married. By then, there were no surprises; we knew everything about each other.
Gearing up to get married? Or just wanna celebrate your single, sexy self? Check out our bachelorettes and birthdays here.